Tania

Relationships have always been really important to me. I had to learn a lot, though, about how to have healthy ones, and how to keep them in the proper perspective.

When I was a teenager, constructing the perfect relationship with a guy was my goal, but because I didn't have enough confidence that I'd find an equal, I looked for guys that had personal issues I felt I could fix for them. I was also very demanding of the guys I became involved with.

After a series of very intense and painful relationships, I learned a few things: physical intimacy doesn't make a relationship better, I can't persuade someone to like me- there has to be a deeper basis, I can't create the perfect relationship, and relationships can't bear the weight of the pressure I was putting on them. I was longing for intimacy but didn't know how to make choices that would lead to fulfillment of those longings. I needed guidelines.

I started dating a guy I'd met at the weekly Christian Roller Skating night held in an arena near where I lived. He taght me the Gospel—that God loves me and sent His Son into the world so that I could experience God's love, having destroyed the barriers that I had put up between me and God by dying and rising again. I started looking to God to fill my yearning to be loved. It took about a year before my lifestyle started changing to reflect the new way I was starting to search for love. That guy and I broke up; we were ruining each others' lives in the way we were over-dependant on each other.

By that point, I was done with guys and just wanted God. And then, at exactly the same Roller Rink, a year after I met the guy who told me about God, I met Phil. I was 17 when we met, 18 when we got married, and it's now been over 20 years.

I believe the strength of my marriage is largely due to the way that my relationship with God fills my deeper needs and provides the type of guidance that only God can provide.

Phil

As a child, I had a philosophical bent—still do. I would think about Reality, that there had to be something that all I could see was firmly rooted in.

I also lied a lot as a kid, and was very good at it. I knew I could get away with anything. It took a lot of effort to keep all my lies together, but it was a way for me to mold reality into what I wanted it to be. I remember thinking that the world was a strange place to be, as we could change the way things were in this way.

When I was 9, I went to summer camp and heard that Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." I started to really think about that. Discovering that there is Someone who is 'the Truth' gave me a firm place to stand. He was the firm Reality I had been looking for. I thought, "I gotta get to know Him!"

I also realized that I could deceive people with my lies, but if Jesus really was Truth, I couldn't pull the wool over His eyes. I decided I couldn't contine to live lying my way through life, and chose to live recognizing that Jesus is Truth, ultimate Reality. I became a Christian.

For a year after that, I couldn't lie. I became so hyper aware. Every time I devised a lie, God's Holy Spirit let me know that it would cost me something, and then I couldn't go through with it. It was a very profound experience and a huge break with how I had been. His Presence was so intense, and I realized that it was to protect me from myself. Over time, that experience became less extreme, as I understood more and grew more.

Tania

On a day to day basis, the way my relationship with God expresses itself is through being able to inspire others, seeing them have hope, learn, and build community. The inspiration leads to action and meaningful change in the world, even in small ways. The community that is formed is viable because it has an external purpose beyond itself. This whole process is beyond what I'm doing, it's God giving me the power to do what I do. It amazes me how much He accomplishes through me.

I don't want to accomplish anything without Him with me to enjoy it, so He keeps me within limits. If I go too far in one direction, He draws me back.

Phil

The way that God interacts with me is by challenging me with puzzles to solve. In this way, He teaches me skills I will carry into Eternity. For example, something God is currently presenting me with is what I should do next in life. I have a real sense of freedom to explore, as I am free in Christ, and am learning in new ways what that means.

I converse with God about the world around me, how things work, everything. I'm very interested in science, so get to know God through the way He's designed things, like trees. Have you ever thought of how amazing things are that we take so for granted, like trees? How the energy flows, all the uses we have found for trees, their beauty—it's amazing!

One thing I try to maintain is living in such a way that what's important to God is important to me.

Tania & Phil

We both find that God uses meaningful conversations with others as a way to get closer to Him and get to know Him better. Connections provides a forum for these kinds of converstions. Praying together, reading the Bible together, discussing insights—all are such powerful ways God leads us into becoming closer to Him.